


another chatfic

by Anonymous



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Humor, Other, Teenage Dorks, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26382913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Just a chatfic because they're fun and silly to write!
Relationships: Eventually - Relationship, Lucina/Serena | Severa, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20
Collections: Anonymous





	1. genesis

_Cynthia added Nah, Laurent, Gerome, Yarne, Inigo, Brady, Kjelle, Noire, Owain, Severa, and Lucina to a group chat_

**Kjelle** : Huh?

 **Kjelle** : Why did you make this? We already have a groupchat

 **Cynthia** : Oops! Sorry I got a new phone so when I tried texting you guys it made a new group chat 😢

 **Kjelle** : Ohhhh

 **Kjelle** : Wait what happened to ur old phone??

 **Cynthia** : No comment 😶

 **Kjelle** : Did you drop it into a lake again

 **Cynthia** : I said no comment 😓

 **Kjelle** : I’ll that as a yes

 **Inigo** : tbh i vote we just keep this chat bc the other ones a disaster

 **Kjelle** : Inigo it has the exact same people in it 

**Inigo** : maybe so but it's about the symbolism

 **Kjelle** : What fucking symbolism????

 **Inigo** : shush kjelle just trust on me this

 **Kjelle** : I’m going to pretend you didn’t just shush me. For your sake.

 **Inigo** : it was over text so does it really count

 **Kjelle** : It counts ESPECIALLY because it was over text. 

**Inigo** : wtf how :/

 **Kjelle** : Because of the symbolism :^))))

 **Inigo** : ......hm

 **Inigo** : yeah ill take full responsibility for this 

**Severa** : inigo? taking responsibility for something? thats a new one 

**Kjelle** : I can hear the disdain in your voice even over text. Impressive

 **Severa** : thanks its a talent that has taken many years to cultivate

 **Nah** : are you sure about that? i'm pretty certain you came out of the womb with resting bitch face

 **Severa** : that idea is sexist actually so im cancelling you #NahIsOverParty

 **Nah** : i can reclaim rbf -_-

 **Nah** : bitch

 **Kjelle** : Is that supposed to represent ur rbf or 

**Nah** : no just my attitude 

**Severa** : you don’t have what it takes to master rbf

 **Nah** : yes i fucking do 

**Nah** : Kjelle tell her

 **Kjelle** : No you don’t 

**Severa** : LMAO

 **Kjelle** : Sorry queen

 **Kjelle** : I on the other hand, do

 **Severa** : what

 **Nah** : oh how the tables have turned

 **Severa** : are u challenging me for the title of best resting bitch face 

**Kjelle** : May the best resting bitch face win

_Kjelle changed their name to Queen of Resting Bitch Face_

**Severa** : fuck you that doesn’t mean anything

 **Queen of Resting Bitch Face** : Sounds like something a loser would say

_Severa changed their name to Rbf overlord_

**Rbf overlord** : bring it bitch

 **Lucina** : hi guys :)

 **Lucina** : wow what's happening?

 **Queen of Resting Bitch Face** : rbf competition 

**Rbf overlord** : you wouldn’t understand

 **Lucina** : how do you guys even monitor something like that for a competition? 

**Lucina** : like, what parameters are you setting up?

 **Rbf overlord** : I told you you wouldn’t understand 😒 

**Lucina** : oh 

_Rbf overlord named the conversation “Resting Bitch Face Colosseum”_

**Inigo** : hey can i nominate gerome for this position too😳

 **Inigo** : he has very good rbf

 **Rbf overlord** : ur right but also it would be un-feminist of me :/ 

**Inigo** : no worries he can just be the sole contender for “longest amount of time spent in batman cosplay”

 **Gerome** : I heard my name

 **Gerome** : Why do we have another group chat?

 **Inigo** : we’ve long since moved past that please keep up 

**Nah** : it is partially due to cynthia breaking her phone and partially due to symbolism, apparently 

_Inigo changed Gerome’s name to Resting Batman Face_

**Resting Batman Face** : I hate all of you

 **Inigo** : grouchy one isn’t he

_Resting Batman Face changed Inigo’s name to Manwhore_

**Manwhore** : i mean

 **Manwhore** : where’s the lie 😳

 **Rbf overlord** : ur a manwhore but ur not even good at it

 **Yarne** : yeah your a second rate manwhore… sorry buddyy

 **Queen of Resting Bitch Face** : ^^^

_Nah changed Manwhore’s name to Second-rate Manwhore_

**Second-rate Manwhore** : wow thanks a lot guys!

 **Rbf overlord** : any time

 **Yarne** : your wlecome ^_^

 **Yarne** : *welcome

 **Nah** : yarne why do you still bother correcting yourself when everything you say has a typo and we’ve all just had to learn how to translate whatever you’re saying

 **Lucina** : she has a point

 **Yarne** : stop nitpicking my tetxs 

**Yarne** : FUCK

 **Yarne** : *texts

 **Queen of Resting Bitch Face** : MANGJAJFKASJDJDHSJSI

 **Yarne** : can we go back to bullying inigo instead🥺👉👈

 **Second-rate Manwhore** : no

 **Nah** : yes

 **Brady** : nah

 **Nah** : yes?

 **Brady** : wut?

 **Nah** : you said my 

**Nah** : oh

 **Nah** : god DAMMIT

 **Cynthia** : Did- Did Nah just get Nah’d?

 **Yarne** : ok lets bully nah now 😼

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've assigned parents to everyone so you'll eventually find out the pairings!


	2. exodus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why im naming chapters after bible books i just think its funny.

[ _Resting Bitch Face Colosseum_ ] 

**Laurent** : Hello.

 **Laurent** : I’m curious as to how many of you are planning on--or have already--signed up for the exchange program.

 **Second-rate Manwhore** : there’s my boy

 **Laurent** : I have not read the entire conversation thus far, but based on your nickname, I am assuming you are Inigo. 

**Laurent** : Inigo, I have politely asked you not to call me that.

 **Queen of Resting Bitch Face** : Who’s this ‘inigo’? His name is second-rate manwhore

 **Laurent** : You are implying there’s a difference.

 **Rbf overlord** : ADSOIJASOFIJASKDASOD

 **Queen of Resting Bitch Face** : DASODIJAFPASDKAS;

 **Nah** : I FORGOT LAURENT COULD BE FUNNY

 **Second-rate Manwhore** : pain

 **Second-rate Manwhore** : all i know is pain

 **Noire** : @Laurent I wasn’t planning on doing the exchange but I believe Owain is :0

 **Lucina** : i’m not planning on it

 **Rbf overlord** : oh right the exchange lmao

 **Rbf overlord** : yeah my mom signed me up for it bc she wants me to broaden my perspectives or some hippie shit

 **Nah** : if you think YOUR mom’s a hippie then you clearly haven’t met mine

 **Rbf overlord** : except that I have

 **Rbf overlord** : and when i met your parents it became clear you didn’t stand a chance in growing past 5’2 

**Nah** : i might’ve gotten mad about that a year ago but i’ve learned to love myself 

**Nah** : so fuck you

 **Brady** : aint u a shotgun weddin baby 2

 **Nah** : yes brady

 **Nah** : i am

 **Nah** : thanks for sharing that with the class

 **Brady** : oops… wus i not sposed 2 ?

 **Cynthia** : YOU’RE A WHAT 😲

 **Nah** : ok technically not a shotgun WEDDING baby but I was a teenage pregnancy baby so the odds are stacked against me

 **Lucina** : oh wow! that explains why your parents look so young

 **Nah** : yeah lol

_Rbf overlord changed Nah’s name to Accident_

**Accident** : welp

 **Accident** : you’re not wrong!

 **Noire** : You’re the best accident, Nah <3

 **Accident** : thanks noire <3

_Nah changed their name to ‘Best accident’_

**Yarne** : awww how cute :3

 **Second-rate Manwhore** : wait hold up,,,

 **Second-rate Manwhore** : how old were your parents when they had you???

 **Best accident** : uh like 15 and 16 i think?

 **Second-rate Manwhore** : omg

 **Best accident** : they met bc my dad was working part-time at a library and my mom accidentally started a fire in the bathroom lmao

 **Best accident** : she was homeschooled by my aunt tiki so she had 2 go to the library to pick up her assigned reading or something

 **Noire** : That’s kind of romantic in a weird way :0

 **Resting Batman Face** : how in the world did she manage to set fire in a public library

 **Best accident** : she’s made contradicting statements several times so i think she was smoking lmao

 **Owain** : A passionate, all-consuming love brought forth by the very element that represents it… Fire 🔥

 **Best accident** : yes that is one way of putting it

 **Lucina** : ah Owain! There you are :)

 **Owain** : Goodday, my cousin >:)

 **Laurent** : Owain, I hear that you are going on the exchange trip to Nohr. Is that correct?

 **Owain** : My wanderlust beckons me forth, to take on an adventure to unseen, mysterious lands… The treasures that await me are immense, the dangers that lurk even moreso. A battle waiting to be fought, fit for only royal blood to be shed! 

**Owain** : So, TL;DR yep!

 **Owain** : Why do you ask?

 **Laurent** : I’ve been doing research on other countries for an independent project. Since you are going to be traveling to Nohr, I was wondering if you would be willing to do some investigating while you are there.

 **Owain** : Sure thing bud!

 **Owain** : Kind of like some secret spy reconnaissance >:)

 **Second-Rate Manwhore** : oh there’s the roleplay god himself

 **Owain** : An esteemed title, befitting a man of my caliber! 

_Owain changed their name to 'Roleplay God'_

**Second-Rate Manwhore** : yes

 **Second-Rate Manwhore** : wait if you and severa are both going,, maybe ill go too 😳

 **Rbf overlord** : u just want to go so u can hit on girls 

**Second-Rate Manwhore** : if that was the case why wouldn’t i have asked earlier hmmm??

 **Rbf overlord** : look at ur nickname bro

 **Rbf overlord** : its b/c ur too scared to go alone

 **Second-Rate Manwhore** : …

 **Rbf overlord** : HA

 **Second-Rate Manwhore** : pain. constant pain.

 **Yarne** : there there *nuzzles you*

 **Second-Rate Manwhore** : yarne its very hard to tell when you’re being ironic or not and im too scared to ask so i’ll just live in blissful ignorance 

**Yarne** : good choice >;3c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: it's a modern au so nowi does age normally! she doesnt look 12 lol but she is still youthful + younger than the other parents
> 
> also if you couldn't tell, nah's dad is ricken!


End file.
